A quirky, funny wedding reading...about growing old with your true love

Are you looking for a wedding reading that's sprinkled with humour, but also includes more than a touch of romance?

If you're after a poem that will have your wedding guests chuckling out loud, then I've got just the thing for you.

Love me when I’m old and shocking

Peel off my elastic stockings

Swing me from the chandeliers

Let’s be randy bad old dears.

Push around my chromed Bath Chair

Let me tease your white chest hair

Scaring children, swapping dentures

Let us have some great adventures

Take me to the Dogs and Bingo

Teach me how to speak the lingo

Bone my eels and bring me tea

Show me how it’s meant to be

Take me to your special places

Watching all the puzzled faces

You in shorts and socks and sandals

Me with warts and huge love-handles

As the need for love enthrals

Wrestle with my damp proof smalls

Make me laugh without constraint

Buy me chocolate body paint

Hold me safe throughout the night

When my hair has turned to white

Believe me when I say it’s true

I’ve waited all my life for you

At your celebrant-led wedding ceremony, we can include plenty of humorous poetry and funny stories about your adventures as a couple.

An older couple relax together in the sunshine.

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