A simple formula for writing your own wedding vows

Wedding vows... writing 'em, reading 'em...lying awake at night stressing about them. Where do you start? As a wedding celebrant and internationally published author, I'm here to help you wrangle those words. Spoiler alert: It’s simpler than you think.

You may be feeling slightly stressed about it. Perhaps wondering why you need to write your own vows, when there are so many ready-made versions available online.

Making your ceremony more personal

Writing your own vows is a brilliant way to personalise your ceremony. Just like every other aspect of your celebrant-led ceremony, the most important thing is that your vows feel authentic to you.

Writing personal vows makes them more meaningful and it makes your

ceremony more interesting to listen to. It's a chance to bring your personality and the unique aspects of your relationship into this key moment.

Start with structure

As with every element of your celebrant-led ceremony, you have complete freedom to choose how you write your vows. But, if it's helpful, you can use this simple formula to get started with them.

Reasons you love your partner + promises for your future together + shared memories/ stories = vows that actually mean something.

For example:

‘I love your positive energy and your ability to rope me into a kitchen disco to cheer me up when I’ve had a bad day at work. I promise to always be your dancing partner and to never complain about your controversial song choices. Even when you force me to listen to the same George Michael song on repeat."

Make it sound like you

• Don’t feel pressured to use formal or flowery language. Keep it authentic!

• If soppy vows make you squirm, keep it light-hearted and funny.

• Vows can be whatever you want them to be.
  

Keep your partner in mind

Think of things that are meaningful to your partner: Do they love jumping in the mosh pit with you?

Do they appreciate it when bring them a cup of Yorkshire tea in bed on their day off?

Weave your these specific details in to your vows and watch your partner’s face light up!

Things to avoid

• Legal wording: Celebrant-led ceremonies do not use any legal wording. Legal wording is only used during your registrar ceremony.

• A hectic day: Do your legal paperwork on a separate date at a registry office. Relax and enjoy your celebrant celebration with friends and family

• Chat GPT: It doesn’t have your personality! You want your vows to sound like you, not a robot...

• Write an essay: You don’t have to cram pages in to your vows. Keep it to a

  minute or two and save the speech for the speeches (if you’re doing them)!

Still feeling stuck?

If you’ve booked me as your celebrant, vow-writing support is already included.

I can print your vows for the ceremony - I’ll have them ready for you at the front.

If you’ve booked something else for your ceremony, I can still help you with vow writing. No need for your to struggle with it. Get in touch for a quote.

Contact me

Photography credit: Rachel Burt Photography